So I saw my therapist and I was telling him that the bills for when I was hospitalized are weighing down on me and I've been feeling so down and depressed that sometimes it seems like suicide is the only escape. Ever since coming back from the hospital I've been a lot more loathe to get outside the house (especially as the weather got crappier) and it always feels like I have to look over my shoulder when I check the mail.
So my therapist's solution was to hospitalize me again. Apparently he was really freaked out when I told him that it feels like suicide is the only escape from this crap. At least I was only stuck there for two hours this time and the staff was a lot nicer. But part of my frustration is that I feel my therapist is just trying to pass the buck onto psychiatric wards and disability benefits instead of doing something I feel is substantive.
Also, I think it's important to talk about suicide but not have everything interpreted as a suicide threat such that I end up spending every damn weekend at a hospital and "curing" myself into bankruptcy.
EDIT: Also is it ok if I share this on Oppo?