Welcome to a special edition of La Basura Mañanera, where I assume I have a moral high-ground today because my passport is green rather than blue.

1st bag: Splinter throws shade.

Yesterday Sarah Huckabee Sanders, a woman possessed by the spirit of a 14 year old internet troll, threw a private (emphasis on private) event celebrating the 5th of May and hosting the Mexican Ambassador to the United States.

Unlike Splinter writers I find it absolutely charming that Sanders kept POTUS out of the room and absolutely appropriate they gave out cupcakes rather than trying to bring out Mexican food which would’ve (I suppose) angered the writers at splinter somehow more.

Hot take: Celebrations that are so deeply related to race or country of origin are such a minefield that Sanders did the right thing by basically throwing a tea party for the Ambassador and some trade representatives.

2nd bag: I’M OFFENDED, The Root.

The Root, a website that has amazing writers and incredibly pissed off commenters, threw a not so subtle article about what the 5th of May really is: a battle in the city of Puebla that we won because the French gave up (unsurprisingly). After which they had a baguette, a little talk with Napoleon, and then crushed us the next day, and in fact, until 1867.

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Hot take: No one should wear a Sombrero, even people here look at others wearing them and think “Bro, you’ve gone too far” you know why I used bro? Well, only bros, and perhaps Francisco Villa cosplayers would wear a sombrero in 2018. An item that shows respect for the people of this country or what we stand for it is not, if you wanted to do that, just watch some color TV or take birth control pills. Also, what the fuck is “being Mexican” anyway? If you’re a Latino from Chicago you’re less Mexican than Mitt Romney who could literally apply to the Paisano program and get a Mexican passport.

3rd bag: Lets be honest, shall we?

The Takeout, procurers of The Salty Waitress and probably an obesity epidemic across Kinja just gave up and instead gave a tutorial about eating chilly. Is Mexican food spicy? Not necessarily. Were they talking about Mexican food? Only two mentions. Which is good: Not all spicy food is Mexican, and not all Mexican food is spicy, a topic I suspect Takeout writers know about and why they made this piece which frankly is much better than whatever the other publications were complaining about.

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Hot Take: My standard of writing for Takeout is higher than for Splinter.

4th bag: The Onion gets it.

Yeah.

5th bag: Lets see what the cross thread throws.

As of this time (2:00PM CDT) no posts about the 5th of May have been posted by the blogs recognized by crossthread. But I am surely expecting some!