Are you a Medical Doctor looking for an above average salary? Do you have a thing for adventure and uncertainty? Do you love rugged, mountainous regions with breathtaking views?

Come to Chihuahua! Where endemic violence has scared local doctors away from hospitals and clinics alike! With salaries reaching 40,000 pesos a month, this is the time to move up in the world and finally buy that condo for your family, who’ll you keep in another state to make sure local drug dealers don’t use them to blackmail you into giving them opioids! 40,000! that’s twice as much as a regular ol’ physician at IMSS and 5 times the mean national salary! THINK OF THE MONEY FOOLS

Trauma surgeons rejoice! The only way to get as much practice on patients with bullet injuries would be to become an army doctor in Afghanistan! Think of all of the money!


And do you know what Afghanistan doesn’t have? thousands of beheadings and shocking increases of crimes against women! Think of all the rape kits you’ll hand over to the local police for them to ignore! But hey! Think about the money, yo!


You don’t even have to live in the idilic village of Temoris, where clinics have closed because doctors, nurses, and other staff are being kidnapped by drug dealers to cure their wounds of combat! Just live somewhere else where you can ignore the violence! Oh, what do you mean the entire northwest of the country is volatile and violent except for tourist destinations like El Chepe train?!? Well, more work for you trauma surgeons! Knock Knock! you hear that! It’s the sound of ignoring the deeply routed inequities of our country for money!

You’ll love it here! Come, treat underage kids who’ve been made addicted to dangerous drugs by gangs so that they go kill random people. Oh better still! why not treat the young police officer who betrayed their commander when they realized they were being paid by drug dealers!