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A Toast, to Toasts!

Illustration for article titled A Toast, to Toasts!

When drinking in a gentlemanly (or lady-like) atmosphere, toasts can (and should) be made at the beginning and middle of each round. Instead of a simple “Cheers!”, or “Drink up, ya bastards!”, use your wit and wisdom to keep the mood proper. Let’s begin.


In some Asian cultures, a toast signals a “bottoms up”, glass-draining chug. If you’re drinking a fine liquor or high-end beer, this is a big no-no. Now mind you, when everyone has a shot glass of whiskey or tequila, sipping is a bad idea. This also applies to a raucous evening at the fraternity house with PBR or Natty Light (shudder).

But let’s get back to where we’re going with this: a fun night amongst friends over quality spirits. In my opinion, formal toasts are fine with people you’re not particularly close with, but humorous, slightly edgy quips are great when it’s a relatively small grouping of acquaintances. Here are a few of my favorites:

May the best of our past be the worst of our future.

To the fall of the Roman Empire, may ours be just as memorable.

To the trees that are to be made into our caskets, may they continue to grow for decades.


May you never go to hell, but always be on your way.

Let us drink with impunity, or whoever else is buying.

Now, a little saucier:

Here’s to nipples; without them, breasts would be without points.

May our friendship never fail, may it always be kind; I’ll post your bail, if you post mine.


The worst:

To rattlesnakes and condoms, two things I’ll never fuck with. [OP NOTE: Do NOT do this in regards to the prophylactics]


To lobster tail and beer, three of my favorite things.

Okay, now tell me a few of your favorites. Keep it classy, CL.

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