I’ll start with the good news. Well, to get the A/Ts I want I’ll need to put in $1k of parts. I don’t have that kind of cash right now so I did the next best thing: I got the largest rubbers I could fit without a lift.

My current tyres are 195/50/15. The new tyres are 185/60/15. I found Vredesteins on eBay with an XL load rating for hilariously cheaper than buying from a tyre place.

So, that’s the good news.

Since starting transition, I’ve been threatened with rape once. I had my car to protect me for the most part the first time around. I felt somewhat in control of the situation.

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However, last night I didn’t. At my favourite bar a guy who was throwing himself all over me all night had forcefully backed me into a hidden corner and bad things were going to happen to me. He locked my legs in place then started taking off his pants and my resistance was no longer being taken nicely. Everything I said, every motion I made, he persisted. He was much stronger than me. I was trapped. I was terrified and prepared for the worst.

I was able to make an escape by outsmarting him and got far away quickly...I should have told the bartenders (they would have tossed him out) but I was tipsy and more concerned for my safety.

It’s all hitting me today. I feel so vulnerable right now. My life, my body, could have been out of my voluntary control. The idea that someone would enter my body without my permission and I couldn’t stop it. What the heck is wrong with this world? :’(

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To add salt to my wounds, I can’t talk about this stuff to my family, because it would just result in shaming...