IT’S TIME AGAIN FOR FOOTBALL!! Not that crappy preseason NFL crap (my Texans went 4-0 in it, which means diddly squat), but ACTUAL GAMES THAT MEAN SOMETHING!! The NFL will start next week, but Thursday marked the beginning of the college season. Let’s begin.

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Tennessee (9) beat their arch nemesis, Appalachian State, in overtime on Thursday night. And when I say “arch nemesis”, I really mean “supposedly easy team to beat”. I mean, really?! This is Tennessee; when was the last time they had a top ten team?! Better question: WHY are they a top ten team?!?! I’ll be shocked if they are next weekend.

Baylor beat the ever-living snot out of Northwestern State University on Friday. Which is great if you care. I don’t. You might, but I don’t. I hope they get the Death Penalty, as this Baptist university’s sins are far worse than what SMU did when they got the punishment. NEXT.

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UPSET WATCH: Oklahoma (3) vs Houston (15). Tom Herman has done wonders with the university traditionally called “Cougar High”. They are all but guaranteed membership into the BIG XII within the next two years, and it’s because the school got serious about both academics and their sports program. Also, I hate ou with a seething passion and hope that all their players come down with a serious case of mud butt. Houston has an electrifying offense, which should be fun to watch. Go Coogs.

The big show is either LSU (5) vs Wisconsin, or USC (20) vs Alabama (1). College Gameday will be in Green Bay (game is being played at Lambeau Field), but the fireworks will probably take place in Tuscaloosa. Lane Kiffin has his chance to get back at his former employer (USC) as the OC of Alabama. He may or may not be masturbating tonight thinking about the likely outcome tomorrow.

If you’d like, let your college ball thirst dribble into Sunday and watch Notre Dame (10) take on my Texas Longhorns (unranked) on ABC. My Burnt Orange comrades think that Texas has a shot at winning this. I’m a bit more grounded and am hoping that my Austin Boys just have a good showing and don’t get blown out. Shit.

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Here’s the schedule (times listed are CST):

Who are you cheering for? Against? Which games did I leave out? Answer these questions for a shot at winning a proverbial cookie.

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THE DARK MONTHS ARE OVER, FOOTBALL SEASON HAS RETURNED!! THANK YOU BABY JESUS!!!

EDIT: Corso’s pick is in: