grr i have a intercooler between my cheeks

Updates with life because I haven’t done this in ages. Content warning: mental health.

Car: The Matrix recently had 3 of its engine mounts replaced, and the car now causes less cases of nausea to the passengers. Also, never get eBay engine mounts, especially ones with welded-in captive nuts. The welds will break. I’ve also picked up a used Yakima roof rack with bike fork mounts. That’ll be useful especially with moving.

Life: I’m full of anxiety, depressed, and really dysphoric with my assigned gender. I’ve been looking back especially within my childhood and formative adolescent years, and realizing the cases of gender dysphoria I tried to mask over. I’ve been also attaining more gender neutral/femme clothes and growing out my hair to keep dysphoria at bay, but I need to find a mental health counselor in the near future to help with this. I don’t really want to talk to my parents right now about my dysphoria right now, as I’m really scared of their response.... I’m also trying to undo the some of the traits my parents gave me, specifically with shyness and meeting people.

My grades are currently shit right now as well and I’ve taken on the job of a newspaper editor. My co-editor is useless and has abandoned me. My writers.....I’m not even going to go there. *screams internally*

I also applied for a paralegal internship in Philly, which will be a nice experience as I’ll not be in southwestern Ohio. If I get the job (seeing as I’m the only one applying), I’ll be moving to Philly for the winter months. Being in a small Dayton-area Ohio town is very defibrillating, especially as someone who is Chinese-American. There’s no Chinese food that is not trying to appeal to white people’s tastes, and I’m one of two Asian people on campus right now. There are other people of color here, but I’d really like to talk with other Asian people who have similar lived experiences. I’ll be very happy if I get this job, and I might even petition my school to extend this internship until the end of spring if this goes well.

I’ve also built up a fixie for commuting a few months ago. It’s an Unknown PSX, and it’s chuffing fantastic. Comfy but stiff frame. It’s a lovely beastie that is an ongoing project. I have some future plans involving CETMA front racks, cranks that don’t rub the front wheel, and cheap no-name carbon hoops I’d like to lace onto the hubs.

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I’ve also moved away from Macbooks to used Thinkpads. I’m currently running a Thinkpad X230 with the i7 which is modded with the X220 keyboard and the half-assed attempt at a WQHD mod. I need to swap out the motherboard on this as I might have fried something while trying to test out the “piggyback” mod.

Life is hard. aack.

I posted this in Cigar Lounge as I feel some of this is a tad too personal for Oppo.