It's about a rule that we have. The first rule, as a matter of fact. In fact, it's the very first thing most of you fucknuckles read here at the Lounge. It's a rule that's so goddamned simple that a fucking kindergartner can understand it, yet some of you motherfuckers have a hard time processing it through your thick fucking heads. So let me break it down for you in simple fucking words so you can understand me.

DON'T!

FUCKING!

DO!

SHIT!

YOU!

GODDAMNED WELL!

WOULDN'T!

FUCKING!

LIKE!

DONE!

TO!

YOU!

If you don't like it when people push your buttons, then DON'T PUSH OTHER PEOPLE'S BUTTONS! If you derive pleasure in seeing the hypocrisy in writings of other Lounge members, that's fine but keep your goddamned meat beaters and clam jammers off your fucking keyboards until you can think of something productive to say.

There's a flip side to this coin as well that can't be stressed strongly enough: feeding the troll is just as bad as being the troll! Nobody's holding a gun to your head and making you reply every time somebody tries to push your buttons. You're supposed to be fucking adults that can manage your own goddamned impulses, fucking act like it.

It pisses me off that I reward your good behavior by loosening the rules a bit and you show your thanks by acting like fucking kids! Now I have to take time out of my busy fucking day to chew all your asses out. But that's fine. That's good. If that's the game that you want to play, I can fucking play it.

We mods are busy people who have real jobs and don't have time to backtrack your petty fucking arguments to see if Timmy pulled Sally's pony tail first or if Timmy did it because Sally gave him cooties. We don't give a shit why your panties are in a wad. If I see childish behavior, everyone involved is getting banned! No time out, no go to your room and think about what you've done. The Cigar Lounge isn't a fucking nursery, your ass is out of here.

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All of us mods are volunteers and if this job starts to feel like work, then your time here is going to get very fucking miserable! The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away and if banning every one of you motherfuckers is what it takes to bring some civility back to this place, then so be it. If you don't want to see this place disappear, then do something about it. If you see your loungemate fucking up, square their ass away. You know the rules, make sure everybody else does as well. The less work I have to do around here, the happier I get. The happier I am, the more fun this place becomes.

I have shit I've got to do today and I'm not going to engage in any debate or take any fucking questions on this subject. I don't speak caveman so I can't explain myself any simpler than I already have. You assholes know what you need to do, now fall out and fucking do it!

DISMISSED!